The first semester of my college life is coming to a very quick ending and as I look back I cannot help but regret a few of my decisions. I regret not having much excitement for learning as I should and I regret not being all I can be. At times I blame my schedule. I've said before a shorter schedule would have been nice but in reality I can't really blame that. I made my schedule and even though I felt a little unaware of how hard it would be, I did make it. I think for me it has just been the biggest adjustment I've ever had to make. No blame. No excuses. Just reality. Going from a graduating class of two and having very little expected of me, has set me up for a shellshock of sorts. The expectations at Millikin have been a little more then I have been able to handle at times and I guess I just feel a litte lost. I don't miss classes because I'm lazy or because I don't care. Its usually because I havent done what was expected for what ever reason and I'm embarrassed to show up to class. I aim for perfection but fail always. As these last two weeks come about, the thing I am most excited for is not the end of the semester, but the start of the next. I want to be better because I know I have to be better. I have a true yearning, a fire in the pit of my being, that wants to learn, wants to be better and more importantly, wants to be the best person I can be. All we can do is try right?
